No Fear Birth

Now, I don’t like to promote tabloids nor celebs, but I couldn’t help but pick up the latest issue of People while standing in line at Gelson’s check out. As a birthing blog writer and mother, I can’t resist reading a birth story, celeb or not. When I saw Nicole Richie with her new babe, I was admittedly curious. Thankfully, I was not disappointed - for several reasons (in no particular order).

1. Nicole was quoted as saying, “I feel like a superhero. I have such a newfound respect for my body.” I’m so glad that she not only realizes this, but said it for the world to hear. It grates at my nerves when people say, “You don’t have to be a superhero.” Because, as women, that’s what we were made to be.

2. She’s breastfeeding - and we all know by now how beneficial that is.

3. When asked how long she was in labor, she said she didn’t know. I love that. I don’t like when people ask me how long I was in labor because I don’t exactly know either. I just know how long I pushed, because that’s the important part. Nicole was quoted as saying, “I don’t what time I actually went into labor, but I pushed for 10 minutes. Three pushes and she was out.”

Everyone’s labor progresses differently. Some women wear their badges of honor by how long they were in labor. It’s assumed that they were writhing and gnashing their teeth for all those hours. And if you don’t know me by now, I’m all about focusing on the positive – it’s more powerful.

For me and those whom I coach and others who know how to control and overcome fear, we can’t really mark a time when labor actually begins. We can notice when the contractions coming on more regularly. But it’s not an exact science, for anyone I’ve ever met anyway. Contractions may come every ten minutes, then five, then three, then you might have a seven minute span, then three, then five, then three again. It’s all relative. And while we’re talking about contractions… They shouldn’t hurt, unless you’re resisting them in fear. (Read more on this topic in the Prepare Your Mind section.)

4. Little Harlow Winter Kate Madden, baby girl of Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, is adorable - and I personally love the name. It’s classic, but unique.

Cheers and Blessings,
Jennifer

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The nastiest four-letter word surrounding childbirth? Tell me more. It’s spelled p.a.i.n. Don’t use it, and don’t allow it around you. The term “labor pains” is a misnomer. They are contractions. Think of them as your body exercising. They’re good things. As soon as you fear them, that’s when you feel pain. Your body knows what it’s doing. Really. Believe it, let it, and welcome the contractions as what they are: positive, good exercises your body is doing to prepare your muscles to push out your baby into waiting arms. A contraction is simply a muscle contraction, similar to flexing your biceps, or any other muscle for that matter. Think about it. If you squeeze your bicep, for example, hard enough, you can “feel the burn” but it shouldn’t hurt. In the same way, your uteran muscles don’t need to hurt.

“Wait a minute here,” you may be thinking. Even the Bible states, “…in pain the woman shall give birth…” Some women fight for their right to have pain. In that case, I say sadly, “knock yourself out,” but it doesn’t have to be that way. I actually looked deeper into this scripture in Genesis, the first chapter of the Bible. This word “pain” actually translates in the Greek as also meaning “suffering” or “sadness”. In several other occurrences of the same Greek word in Scripture, it is translated as these other words in the English. I’m not saying that the Bible is wrong or even mistranslated, just misinterpreted in most cases in our modern language.

The “suffering” or “sadness” is written in this particular Scripture because it’s after Eve and Adam bit into the forbidden fruit, and sin entered the world. From that unfortunate bite until today, according to Scripture, it could be said that women are “saddened” because our children are born into a world of sin. Who can deny that after watching the evening news? Call it a stretch, if you will. But I choose to look to the positive as far as birth is concerned. Also, I can attest firsthand to not experiencing that writhing pain as most seem to assume in childbirth. Why? Because I prepared my mind and body to look at birth positively and painlessly. I focused on it. I meditated on that fact. And it worked – twice. And countless other women I’ve met and who have responded to this site say the same thing.

Bottom line: Fear creates tension, which creates pain. The unfortunately named Dr. Grantly Dick-Reid, an OB in the 50’s, wrote much on this topic.

Side note: I included in my birth plan: Do not use the word “pain” as in “labor pains”. I prefer “contraction”. And my husband was on-board with me. He kindly extracted the word from his vocabulary for the entire nine months.

Cheers and Blessings,
Jennifer

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To bring you calm at the end of the day and even during actual labor and delivery, create a playlist of all your favorite, most relaxing music. Kick your feet up on the sofa or soak in a tub and listen to it in the weeks before delivery, so your baby can relax with you.

I brought my iPod and sound dock to the hospital and had it going the whole time as I delivered my daughter. At one point in the final pushes, my contractions started to slow, my husband asked me if I wanted the music off. I don’t remember answering him, but I clearly remember the nurse, sweet Paulette, as she held up one of my legs, say, “No, I like it. It’s so relaxing.”

Weird as it may be, to this day, whenever I hear Norah Jones, or Yo-Yo Ma, or any other artist’s song on my playlist, I have calm, happy thoughts of Vivienne’s delivery. Also, whenever she needed calming after she was born, I played the songs for her and they worked like a charm.

Note: A lot of hospitals won’t allow you to bring anything that plugs in. So get a docking station/speakers or CD player that runs on batteries.

And sign up for No Fear Birth updates now. They will be sent to your inbox fresh off my keyboard. Got a comment? Let me know what you think in the Comments area. Got friends? Let them know about this site. We want everyone to experience an incredible, no fear birth. It can be done. And you can add your name to the list of women who attest to it. This is just the beginning… Stay tuned for the forum coming in the next week.

Cheers and Blessings,
Jennifer

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