Women across the nation scowl at svelte Hollywood celebrities who have just birthed their glitzy little bundles and wonder, “Seriously! How did she get that body so soon?” Well, trainers are great, but so is the knowledge you’ll get right here at No Fear Birth. We’re from LA, too, so what do you expect?

Step 1 – Get your granny on. What? That’s right. Get a big ol’ girdle and wear it with pride. It’s called “shapewear” now. But whatever it’s called, I call it the great re-shaper. My mom recommended it to me (that was the big secret back in the day) and I can fully attest to its greatness. It pulls all our stuff in and reminds it where it belongs. I wore mine for the first three or four months. Get one that’s made especially for post preggers. Mine was a genuine granny panty made with comfortable yet strong fabric. Your friends will glare at you with loving disdain. And you can just smile and say simply, “Thanks!”

Step 2 – Breastfeed. You know it was coming. Yes, breastfeeding releases oxytocin in your body that causes your uterus to contact back to its original size and place. And it burns a lot of calories to boot.

Step 3 – Eat healthily and drink plenty of water. Yes, you do need more calories if you’re breastfeeding but they shouldn’t come from saturated fats or sugars. Even if you’re not breastfeeding, you should avoid these. And do not eat high fructose corn syrup or trans fat (hydrogenated oils). Some people think they need to consume more fat or drink…

milk for milk production, but this is not true. Did you know that milk is miraculously made from blood? And that fat you consume doesn’t go to your baby through your milk, but it does go to your backside if you have too much. And really, make a chart, and drink at least eight glasses of water a day. Herbal tea counts, too. But all other drinks contain mostly empty calories.

Step 4 – Suck it in. Isometrics work. Whenever you think of it (driving, brushing your teeth, whenever) imagine you’re pulling you belly button up and in toward your spine. This also will help you regain proper posture. Hold it for tightly for 15-20 counts and repeat 5-10 times or as often as you want, really. And while you’re at it, why not add some variety to your “secret” workout. Switch off doing Kegels, then sucking in the belly.

Step 5 – Support the girls. Invest in good nursing bras that fit you correctly. And don’t buy them until after you deliver. Call your hospital and see if they sell them there. Most do. Hey, your insurance might pay for them, too. The hospital is where I got mine. It was a relief not to have to worry about that when I got home. If they don’t have the greatest selection, just get one or two there and buy one or two more elsewhere. But most importantly, make sure that you are sized correctly. Don’t worry about the numbers and letters. Cut out the tags if that bothers you. The right bra is super important to keep the girls defying gravity.

Step 6 – Keep stepping, i.e., walking or whatever interests you to move, move, move. Push the stroller around town, or the mall on rainy or otherwise inclement days. Gwen Stefani says she’s addicted to old school working out. And that obviously works for her. But if that won’t keep you motivated, don’t do it. Whatever the exercise, shoot for 30 minutes 4-5 days a week or more if you want to. Whatever gets you going, let it. And watch your waist whittle its way back into those “before the baby” jeans.

All this said, I remember standing in the shower a week or so after giving birth to my daughter. I looked down and my floppy belly then looked past the shower doors to her precious sleeping face as she was snuggled in her bouncy seat. “She’s so worth everything,” I remember thinking. And that’s still true today.

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